Challenge Accepted

I was told I need to blog again which is very true and very flattering. I definitely didn’t expect people to read this thing so I guess now that I know more people than my mom do the pressure is on to make sense! 

 There are so many things that happen in a day that it is often hard to remember everything. Thank goodness for my pretty regular journaling or this whole experience would be lost in my terrible memory. I have also found it is so necessary to journal so I do not miss you on all that I am really experiencing. Our days can be very repetitive but no matter what there is something that impacts me everyday. It is far too easy to miss how powerful something small can be when there is such a set routine. We have taken to calling our routine, the Triangle. All of our daily activities, with the exception of Theresa and Grace who add an extra step with the hospital, occur in a triangle. We travel between our rooms, which are attached to the church, the Father’s house where we eat and get internet and the school. While there is some comfort knowing what each day brings there is also some exhaustion from a lack of variety. In an attempt to break up the monotony we have taken to exploring our surroundings more. This has taken different forms. 

This past weekend we went to town to play pool. It was one of the nicer buildings in the whole town with a veranda and store front. Of course it wasn’t a regulation pool table and the balls were only Snookers balls but we made due. It was a great time and the three white girls playing pool became a bit of an attraction. When our viewers hit double digits we called it quits and went home. On our way home we met a great woman named Marsha.  She has been in Maridi for the past three years as a literacy consultant. She was so friendly and a huge inspiration being a woman, about 60 and living here until further notice with her elderly mother! It was shocking but also amazing to see two women in their golden years, that are often spent on the beaches in Florida, sweating in Africa to help educate children. Definitely my hero. We are planning on visiting them soon and learning more about their work and lives. I am very excited! There is a strong sense of welcome and community Maridi as a whole and with the Zande people. This feeling is not lost among the non- African members of the community. For the most part we all know about each other’s presence in the town and our respective jobs. There is always a bright smile and warm handshake whenever we run into a fellow non-African in town or the market. It is like an unspoken support system amongst each other. We all share an understanding of the changes and challenges of our new environment. While some are certainly adjusted to and thriving in Africa it is still not the Western, first world countries that most of us are from. 

The week before was Grace’s birthday and in honor of that we also went to town to a guest house I had no idea existed. It was concrete and tile and really beautiful. It had a small veranda and a bar.  We had a celebratory beer to commemorate not only her 25 great years on earth but her amazing past year in South Sudan. 

This past Saturday was definitely the crowning adventure thus far. Theresa and I needed some fresh air but mostly air time for the cell phone. We decided to walk to town to get it to get some and make a trip of it. We were nearing Wise Man’s, a one room “sports bar” where they show football (soccer) games, when it started raining. 

What better excuse to stop and have a cold Tusker? After the rain and a private dance from the drunken man across the street we continued only to be met by of course, more rain. We ducked into the Action Africa Help compound. Theresa has worked with a doctor from this organization before so we luckily had someone to call instead of being the wet American’s under the mango tree. When the rain had finally stopped we were planning on getting air time and getting home before yet another rain cloud opened up on our trip. The doctor invited us to a party at the United Nations compound. It was a going away party for two employees who finished their assignments. Although we only met one of the employees and only in passing we figured we couldn't pass up an opportunity to meet employees of the United Nations. We hopped on a boda and drove down a daunting road. This stretch of road was exceptionally bad. At one point we were literally inside of a trench which was actually a continuation of the road. When we finally arrived after thanking God we didn't die inside the trench we went into a guarded compound. It was massive. All of the buildings were huge shipping crates that were modified into offices and homes. We walked up to a legitimate BBQ: volleyball, chicken and tunes. Everyone was so welcoming and friendly. There were people from every corner of the world including Germany and Fiji. It was amazing to hear the stories and occupations of all the different people. Before dinner there were farewell speeches, an hour and a half worth, about how much of an impact the two that were leaving had made on their fellow employees. It was clear that they were much more than coworkers, they were family and it was a honor to be able to witness. We tried leaving before dinner in order to make it home before dark but we had been assured a ride home and then had food shoved into our laps. We left after making some great new friends and a delicious meal. It was a perfect example of what great memories and opportunities come from spontaneous adventure.

 These few weeks of adventure have left me feeling pretty successful in the challenge of turning our triangle into a trapezoid as Cait now calls it. Our mantra thus far in mission has been “challenge accepted.” Any obstacles South Sudan has thrown at us or will throw at us we have accepted with a determination to conquer them. I would like to say that all of our challenges are noble and will change the world. In reality many of the challenges consist of bug extermination, successful navigation of mud and locating non expired Diet Pepsi. Regardless of the nobility or lack of in our challenges I think the idea that we are committed to going full force at the many challenges of the next year is valuable. I think it is also humbling to see what our challenges are in contrast to those of the community. We are determined to find Diet Pepsi that isn’t expired and a majority of the children are determined to have enough food to survive. The only thing more humbling than seeing our insignificant problems is how generous the people are with the little they have. One of our students invited us to his home for lunch last week. His mother prepared a huge and delicious meal. They were so happy to have us come to visit and to share the food that they needed for their family of 10 boys with us. It was so beautiful to experience such love and generosity. 

 Having this awareness of the insignificance of our problems makes them not only irrelevant but more than manageable. Realizing that our students and their families are up against so many challenges and many that threaten to seriously derail their futures can be overwhelming as much as it is humbling. 

The best way to manage this I have found is seeing the little victories. While there is value in having a larger goal and a desired end result, there is even more value in seeing the small triumphs on the way to that result. One of my little victories was in my religion class when we were discussing peace. This is a concept that is even more important for these kids considering the country has been in a state of war for the past 60 years.  Knowing this I am trying to spend a lot of time with it and really challenge them to think. I gave them a Mother Theresa quote to think about and discuss, “Peace begins with a smile.” After some exaggerated performances on my part about what it means, there was a very rare quiet. It was almost not noticeable but in a class of 50 children, 10 seconds of quiet seems like a lifetime. The brief quiet was a small victory to me because I may have actually made them think. I may have gotten them to look at the idea of peace in a more simple and tangible way. Or i completely confused them and they have no idea what i am talking about. both are very possible but i would like to think it was the former. 

All of my time so far in this beautiful place has done nothing but make me better. The people I am around, the books I am reading or the risks I am taking are all revealing a better person inside. I read a book that Theresa had called Love Does. It is by Bob Goff who is the most amazing person I have ever met. Everyone should read this book. The book talks about us being created to be incredible. We were made to do extraordinary things even if we are doing them in some ordinary ways. The biggest barrier he talks about is ourselves. This could not be more true for me. There are more times in a day that I decline something not because someone else thinks I cant do it, but because I think I cant do it. In the book, Mr. Goff talks about letting go of our own insecurities and fears about failure and damaging pride because they only keep us from reaching our own potential. I am trying to take this heart and live it every day. The last story in this much too long post is precisely about letting go of fears. Grace and Cait have taught the students multiple dances throughout their year here. The kids absolutely love dancing so it has been really successful. Two months ago we started choreographing another dance that the four of us could teach them together. When we started I was uncomfortable even at the idea of performing in front of people, even if it was a bunch of kids. As the dance progressed and cheerleading stunts were added to the routine my anxiety grew. I put on a brave face, practiced the dance and secretly dreaded the day we performed. We met many delays to our debut with sickness, school cancellations and random work days. Each time I was secretly relieved that I did not have to perform. The day finally came. I was less than thrilled but faked excitement until we got on stage. I was still terrified but I had a blast. I messed up a few times but it did not change how much the kids loved it. And that was what mattered. It did not matter that I felt I was never good enough to be a cheerleader or coordinated enough to dance a routine, what mattered was that the students loved it and love us.  What mattered is that we did it as a group, we supported each other and had a blast! That is how I want to define not only the rest of this year but the rest of my life. It isn’t about my anxiety, my mistakes or my faults its about taking opportunities, having fun and giving all I can to another person just because.